I killed a person today.
My mother would probably think this only confirms that I am a horrible vicious monster.
Perhaps she is correct, I don’t know. The person refused to reach an agreement even for such an exaggerated price which was frustrating. That is not why I killed him, I almost wish it were. He refused to reach an agreement but also knew my name and could have compromised me to others. I gave him my name in good faith and he refused to give me his, he refused to show me the merchandise and he showed no sense of honor whatsoever. I expect he would have sold me out to the nearest Hut the moment I left. So I had no choice but to kill him as I was trained as to leave no loose ends.
On the long ride home it did occur to me that he must have had a datapad or something since he looked me up but I did not see it so it must have been hidden somewhere. My mother would probably have thought of that but I just don’t think that way. Oh well.
What bothers me is that while I have killed many times I have always felt something, today I did not. I really have not felt anything since Ana left me. I would say I feel sad but I do not even feel that anymore.
I have honor and duty and that will have to sustain me.
Master Gin seems to have aroused the ire of a fourth Sith who now threatens the ship and crew. I shall stand guard over them as long as needed until we depart and head for someplace safe or I die in this endeavor.
I may be a Monster and a Weapon but nothing is getting past me to harm those I am protecting.